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Apr. 28th, 2023 09:27 pmi wish efurrything could go bacc two the way it was befur....
late nyaight slepy thoughts
Jan. 27th, 2023 02:40 amm tired- i keep waking up at the same time efurry nyaight and cant go bacc two sleps
efurrything feels pointless and if im not feelin depurressed and apathetic, i feel anxious...... my therapist isnt really helping meowch and i feel like im just throwing money away that i need fur hrt n stuff tbh
i keep wondering too, if anyone really wants mew around or if they just keep me around beclaws im furriends with eve/echomori/the nefurmeowre system so they feel obligated two like its some kinda two in one deal
am i even plural at all....... i feel like a dumb stupid faker, pie tells me that hes real n here but maybe im the one that isnt real
efurrything feels pointless and if im not feelin depurressed and apathetic, i feel anxious...... my therapist isnt really helping meowch and i feel like im just throwing money away that i need fur hrt n stuff tbh
i keep wondering too, if anyone really wants mew around or if they just keep me around beclaws im furriends with eve/echomori/the nefurmeowre system so they feel obligated two like its some kinda two in one deal
am i even plural at all....... i feel like a dumb stupid faker, pie tells me that hes real n here but maybe im the one that isnt real
witness meowchine broke
Jan. 5th, 2023 10:32 amtheres a still tension in the swell,
of dreamt debris afloat amidst the waves and then dispel... /lyr
feeling slepey, ive been playin lots of lobotomy corporation recently since i got it in the steam sale ehehehe
thats kinda it, wish i had meowre energy two talk abt efurrything i wanted but im just toooo slepey................
of dreamt debris afloat amidst the waves and then dispel... /lyr
feeling slepey, ive been playin lots of lobotomy corporation recently since i got it in the steam sale ehehehe
thats kinda it, wish i had meowre energy two talk abt efurrything i wanted but im just toooo slepey................
rough nyaight last nyaight
Dec. 28th, 2022 11:49 pmtoo sleepy two write too meowch but...
( tw fur parental emeowtional abuse, ableism, and ofurall negativity )
( tw fur parental emeowtional abuse, ableism, and ofurall negativity )
it snoooowed a lil bit, it felt nyaice watching the snow falll, gently..........
i feel really out of energy n i need two keep going bacc n furth between my computer n my bed........ ive been reading stories on the r/nosleep subreddit when im in bed- my favoritest story on the subreddit is just a scratch, i always go bacc n read it efurry so often =w= i know its sad but some pawrt of me really likes tragedies i guess (yew know, if me liking OFF didn't already give that away /lh)
i told mewself i'd get around two playin the gaems on my bacclog eventually but im still slepey....... im having trouble finishing my current OFF playthru too, my body n brain are mean two me like that sometimes 3:
i wanna try streamin smth cute n wholesome on christmas day at least, just two get my mind off The Bad Things(tm) and two help any otherer people who've been thru and are going thru crap beclaws.... winter holidays.............
bwehh im too slepey i dunno why my brain is all ofur the purrace but im goin bacc two bed n takin a nap or smthh
i think its snowing again so im gonna watch th snow falllll
i feel really out of energy n i need two keep going bacc n furth between my computer n my bed........ ive been reading stories on the r/nosleep subreddit when im in bed- my favoritest story on the subreddit is just a scratch, i always go bacc n read it efurry so often =w= i know its sad but some pawrt of me really likes tragedies i guess (yew know, if me liking OFF didn't already give that away /lh)
i told mewself i'd get around two playin the gaems on my bacclog eventually but im still slepey....... im having trouble finishing my current OFF playthru too, my body n brain are mean two me like that sometimes 3:
i wanna try streamin smth cute n wholesome on christmas day at least, just two get my mind off The Bad Things(tm) and two help any otherer people who've been thru and are going thru crap beclaws.... winter holidays.............
bwehh im too slepey i dunno why my brain is all ofur the purrace but im goin bacc two bed n takin a nap or smthh
i think its snowing again so im gonna watch th snow falllll
beeg slepey......
Dec. 22nd, 2022 02:33 ami woke up in the middle of the nyaight an couldnt go bacc two slepey so i took a walk outside!
it was cold and nyaice but the cold makes my pain flare up so nyaow i got body pains n cromchy hands but i dont mind- i like being awake at nyaight when no one else in the house is! i dont hav two worry abt kathy n saman and worry bout how they'll decide two treat me :D
i think ill go slepey soon but one of my streamer furriends is playing lil gator gaem and it feels cozy..... uwu
it was cold and nyaice but the cold makes my pain flare up so nyaow i got body pains n cromchy hands but i dont mind- i like being awake at nyaight when no one else in the house is! i dont hav two worry abt kathy n saman and worry bout how they'll decide two treat me :D
i think ill go slepey soon but one of my streamer furriends is playing lil gator gaem and it feels cozy..... uwu
im good nyaow!!
Dec. 21st, 2022 02:16 pmim ok nyaow it turns out i furgot two take my antidepurressants /)////(\
i just needed a nap two reset
i just needed a nap two reset
twoday! (dec 19 2022)
Dec. 19th, 2022 05:22 pmi got bacc furrom my appt!
i asked my doctor if he could teach me how two inject t and he gave me a huge purrint out and showed mew how two do it and even gave me some syringes and needles too and told mew how two dispose the stuffs safely! i am Nervous(tm) about doing it mewself next week but he said that i could come by the next day if i got squeamish or couldnt do it mewself!! he was very nyaice abt it :3
This is only our second week on T, we started last week. But Witty wanted to keep it on the down low because they were worried about coming off as too selfish. It's a bad habit we have yet to break: Making ourselves seem as small as possible to avoid seeming selfish or being perceived as a burden.
yea!!! also
ok i furgot what i was gonna say beclaws im getting slepey and the fatigue is catching up with mew but twoday was surpurrisingly good.........
i am going two chill nyaow..... daydream abt piloting a mech n saving the world with my bf................. daydream abt getting two eat warm foods n get cuddles........................................ pawggers.............................................................................................
i asked my doctor if he could teach me how two inject t and he gave me a huge purrint out and showed mew how two do it and even gave me some syringes and needles too and told mew how two dispose the stuffs safely! i am Nervous(tm) about doing it mewself next week but he said that i could come by the next day if i got squeamish or couldnt do it mewself!! he was very nyaice abt it :3
This is only our second week on T, we started last week. But Witty wanted to keep it on the down low because they were worried about coming off as too selfish. It's a bad habit we have yet to break: Making ourselves seem as small as possible to avoid seeming selfish or being perceived as a burden.
yea!!! also
ok i furgot what i was gonna say beclaws im getting slepey and the fatigue is catching up with mew but twoday was surpurrisingly good.........
i am going two chill nyaow..... daydream abt piloting a mech n saving the world with my bf................. daydream abt getting two eat warm foods n get cuddles........................................ pawggers.............................................................................................
sleeeeeeepy slepy slepy slepyyy sleps
Dec. 19th, 2022 07:08 amsleeeeepy
too lazy two change the color of my text anymeowre
but anyways i Do Not(tm) feel ready fur twoday i gotta go two the doctor's office by bus all alone fur my weekly testosterone shot
i asked kathy (my ""mom"") two drive me there n bacc but she says shes gotta take care of nova (my brother) since his ED is getting Really Bad(tm)
i mean even if she didnt have two watch nova i doubt she'd drive me there
and she wont let me take an uber either so. bus is literally my only option beclaws its 30 mewnutes away
she and saman (""dad"") put us in this weird limbo where they say they suppurrt mew and nova but actually they dont really care and dont suppurrt or help either of us with anything transition related (as well as secretly misgendering us behind our backs when they think we arent listening and making the excuse that its too hard for them even though we've been out for 4-5 years nyaow)
honestly tho i dont really care anymeowre
im just kinda bothered that i hav two go there n bacc in the cold, which.... will purrobably definitely make my chronic pain flare up, n then ill hav two spend the week recovering booo
on the bright side i asked my doctor two teach me how two do the injections mewself so hopefully i wont hav two keep going there and spending weeks and weeks being exhausted and in pain again!!
honestly efur since i joined dreamwidth ive been wanting two work on my neocities site again! i wanna hav a lil corner of the internet two call my own!!
mmy brain feels like its efurrywhere (/pos) i wanna do web design fur nobody but mewself (i mean i would help n stuff if someone asked ofc), i wanna make a visual novel and tell a huge story based off the worlds in my dreams and imeowgination, i wanna play gaems and watch all those shows that i say ill watch but nefur do, i wanna draw, i wanna write, i wanna strem, i wanna do efurrything!!!!!!!!!
and fur once it feels pawssible beclaws of the new meds im on :D
ofc i still hav two pick and choose what two spend my spoons on (spoon theory) but i hav a few meowre spoons each day nyaow thamkfully :3
i will nyaow go slepey and purrepare mewself fur the Arduous Journey(tm) ahead of mew twoday!! i hope yew all hav a nyaice day twoday i love yew guys <3
too lazy two change the color of my text anymeowre
but anyways i Do Not(tm) feel ready fur twoday i gotta go two the doctor's office by bus all alone fur my weekly testosterone shot
i asked kathy (my ""mom"") two drive me there n bacc but she says shes gotta take care of nova (my brother) since his ED is getting Really Bad(tm)
i mean even if she didnt have two watch nova i doubt she'd drive me there
and she wont let me take an uber either so. bus is literally my only option beclaws its 30 mewnutes away
she and saman (""dad"") put us in this weird limbo where they say they suppurrt mew and nova but actually they dont really care and dont suppurrt or help either of us with anything transition related (as well as secretly misgendering us behind our backs when they think we arent listening and making the excuse that its too hard for them even though we've been out for 4-5 years nyaow)
honestly tho i dont really care anymeowre
im just kinda bothered that i hav two go there n bacc in the cold, which.... will purrobably definitely make my chronic pain flare up, n then ill hav two spend the week recovering booo
on the bright side i asked my doctor two teach me how two do the injections mewself so hopefully i wont hav two keep going there and spending weeks and weeks being exhausted and in pain again!!
honestly efur since i joined dreamwidth ive been wanting two work on my neocities site again! i wanna hav a lil corner of the internet two call my own!!
mmy brain feels like its efurrywhere (/pos) i wanna do web design fur nobody but mewself (i mean i would help n stuff if someone asked ofc), i wanna make a visual novel and tell a huge story based off the worlds in my dreams and imeowgination, i wanna play gaems and watch all those shows that i say ill watch but nefur do, i wanna draw, i wanna write, i wanna strem, i wanna do efurrything!!!!!!!!!
and fur once it feels pawssible beclaws of the new meds im on :D
ofc i still hav two pick and choose what two spend my spoons on (spoon theory) but i hav a few meowre spoons each day nyaow thamkfully :3
i will nyaow go slepey and purrepare mewself fur the Arduous Journey(tm) ahead of mew twoday!! i hope yew all hav a nyaice day twoday i love yew guys <3
feelin yucky
Dec. 18th, 2022 02:20 pmbweehh tired.. n nauseous.. hav my doggo brownie in bed with mew rn but I just feel awful n sick
( tw fur venty negative existential stuff )
( tw fur venty negative existential stuff )
(no subject)
Dec. 18th, 2022 06:38 ambwaaah im furrustrated with the lack of..... being able two add modules, but if i change this layout ill hav two redo th custom cursor and stuff n i dont wanna deal with that
i wanna make a "interests" bit like the one on my spacehey purrofile, but theres only one option fur custom texts......
i really need meowre sleep i think
i wanna make a "interests" bit like the one on my spacehey purrofile, but theres only one option fur custom texts......
i really need meowre sleep i think
